I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
