She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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