I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
