I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
