do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
