i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
