Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
