We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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