there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
