i just wanna soil my oats bro
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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