Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
