Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
