So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
