How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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