Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
