Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
