So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
