turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You're like the curious george of whores
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
