every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
