I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
