I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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