Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
