my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
