remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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