so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
