More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
