Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
