i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
