i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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