he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
