I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
