Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
