Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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