I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
NoShamevember. You game?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
