even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
