idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
