And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
