Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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