It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
