I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
