What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
