Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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