So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
