Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
