She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
tell me about the fingering
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