I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
