Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
