I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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