did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
