I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
where are my eyebrows?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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