apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
