Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
