Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
