Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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